Robbie Dean...
Real quickly, Robbie Trost has updated his blog after months of letting dust collect. I'm going to a Rough Riders game this Saturday, should be a blast. I've always wanted to experience the wrath that only the rider fan can conjure up. It's sure to produce some nice pictures.
Housekeeping...
So I have decided that since this is my blog, and I read others blogs I'm going to refer you to others posts that have caught my eye. Quickly, you'll notice that in the links section Hyeon-Jeong and Darryl Klassen's links have been fixed. Also I want to point out that Estelle Richards, Kathleen Hamilton, and as of two minutes ago Craig Knudsen have all been hunted and have blogs of their own. Under my friends links there is a link known as 'Mystery'. This is person that was inspired to start blogging from this community of blogs we have developed at FGBC, and are trying to get their thoughts out with out being looked down upon for their age sex or race. Check it out and let them know what you think. As well Katrina has written a post that really got me thinking about time and our choices, I recommend it, it is sure to bring up some thoughts about how you got to be the way you are and where your going. And quickly, Delia has brung up some excellent thoughts about waiting for things in our life, exposing how we are often very impatient for things in our culture, give it a look. Also Chris P. has a very inspiring post about sin and its effects on not just us but our community as well. That is all for now.
So Good…
This past week I have once again been shell-shocked by how good the Lord is. I was reading through one of my prayer journals looking back on all the things I’ve walked through this past year. As I was reading over my prayers, concerns, and desires, what I found was a steady pattern; He answered them, all of them. Every single prayer I prayed He gave an answer to, although not always the one I had hoped for, but an answer nonetheless. He is so good to me. I have found myself repeating this over and over again, being overwhelmed by His goodness. My prayers for the past little while have been to know Him more, to hear his voice and fall deeper in love with Him. And it is happening, He’s once again answering my prayer. I feel so special to have this relationship with the Most High God, so honored that he would hear my cry. He is my all, and I want Him to become even more than that. I cannot take this smile of my face – and Craig would be my witness – because it seems the more I spend time with Him, the more I fall in love with Him. He is so good. I cannot use words to express it, and actions do not seem to do enough either. My heart just wants to scream in His hands. Father I love you with everything I am. May we run faster and harder in this life. Reveal to me all you desire, and use me to bring glory to Your name. Together may we throwdown on this life you have set up for splendor, and bring You glory. You, my God, are lovely.
Simply Grace
I have been sitting and contemplating for the last week about how this will come out and decided to just write it and see where that leads me. The inspiration for this post is ultimately the Lord, but His words have come to me through Rob Bell and Donald Miller. I am sure that I am one of the last people on the planet to read ‘Blue Like Jazz’ but I assume it is better late than never.
What have captured my attention are the ideas revolving around grace. I’ve sung about it, wrote about it thought about it, and just now I am beginning to finally find myself in a place unable to comprehend it. In ‘Blue Like Jazz’ Donald discusses how he used to be part of this self-discipline group where the members would keep themselves from the pleasures of the flesh if you will, things such as television and smoking. It never worked for Donald. He claims that it only took a matter of time for his self-discipline to be defeated and then he was back to his old tricks if you will. I have struggled with the same cycle, finding myself defeating an awful habit for literally years only to find myself years older and still struggling with the same thing. I have wondered what it will take to walk through these struggles and now I am beginning to understand what it takes and also where it leaves me.
“By accepting God’s love for us, we fall in love with Him, and only then do we have the fuel we need to obey.” (86)
Earlier he states that even the laziest of men will swim the English Channel for a women he loves. I laugh because I can so clearly see the connection and they journey of thought God has been leading on when I check my earlier thoughts of love found on ‘Your Thoughts’. I need to understand that God loves me and that there is nothing I can do to earn or even repay that debt. He has given me a forever-undeserved grace. He love me just cause… It’s a hard teaching for me to accept and comprehend. Perhaps this is because of my pride that says I don’t want to be charity. I’m lost in thought right now about this.
The funny thing is at the same time I’m reading ‘Blue Like Jazz’ I’ve begun reading ‘Velvet Elvis’ by Rob Bell and it talks about the idea of being in love with my Lord and not having to worry about defending and sharing my faith, but telling someone about the one I love. If you haven’t read this book I recommend it. I’m only 80 pages into it, and it has already challenged and motivated me.
These thoughts are far from refined, and I’m all right with that. I just I would share some honest thoughts about where I am on my journey and perhaps you have already walked through this grace issue. I’m excited because I know that God is moving in my life and shaping me for the future. I’m getting bigger glimpses of it everyday and that is really refreshing for me.
There it is laid out straight, if you have any insights into your experience with grace please feel free to share them I’d love to sit and listen.
The Summer Wind
Why is it that sports have to hurt so much? Man I wish the would have won, I feel like I got my heart broken again, seems to be quite the theme this year with me and hockey: ABHE…we tried, Ramblers…2nd round failures, Flames…1st round dropouts. Drive a guy crazy they played like they didn’t care, and that hurts.
I’m at home this week preparing for my summer. There is such a feel of anxiety for the unknown, yet such an excitement for this mystery too. What will it be like, what will I learn, what memories will be made. It’s exciting to come home and see everyone else growing and moving along in their own lives, whether it be getting jobs, making choices for school, announcing pregnancy, whatever it is I’m stoked to see us continue to flourish.
I plan on making this summer one of accomplishment, and well see how good I am at self motivation:
- Gain 10 pounds. Its that time of my life where I strangle the 160 barrier and surpasses it. This is one of the thorns in my side, not really, but I’ll see it as that this summer to motivate me.
- Run every morning for 2 k. I want to do this because I love to run. I find it to be one of the most freeing things. I don’t think when I run, and I like that.
- Increase my vertical for volleyball – I want to be able to jump 30 feet in the air, so I guess I might have to do a few drills to get there.
It can be hard coming home for a number of reasons, but the main one being the fact that it seems my decision to go to school seems to render no support among people I care the most. It is funny how this can be, because many of these people do not understand the happenings of the school and the atmosphere it brings. They rely on different facts they have heard throughout their lives and instead of peering into the growth many others and I have walked through, they still rely on past prejudice to measure my life. It is in the end all right though, I understand that people have an opinion on certain things and I will not hold it against them. The Lord has asked me to be obedient to His plan and even when it hurts I will walk even crawl because He is worth it: I’ll hold onto you.
Anyway onto the summer, and I hope all your summers are jammed full of wonderful memories, and I hope that I run into you so we can spend some time causing ruckus.
